Finding my own strength

In the past two weeks, I have had the opportunity to see some amazing things in myself. I had no idea how much I have grown and changed in the past few years. I am emotionally intelligent, strong, independent, a good friend, a good mom, and a seriously amazing woman.

Despite having been through a lifetime of shit being piled on top of me, I have reclaimed it all and come out shining like a ray of sun. I spend a lot of time examining the negative and finding the positive that has come from them. Even though some sadness, lacking, or pain may linger from the things that I've been through, I make a conscious effort to honor that while focusing on the gratitude I have for the beautiful parts of me that came from that negativity.

In my relationships, I have come to a place where I determine priorities. I determine what I actually need. I determine what I can and cannot accept, and pain be damned, I stick to that. It's much like what F. taught me about being with him... no matter how much I love you, if this is not good for one of us, I will break both of our hearts to save us both. I respect that. I've seen too many people hurt themselves and each other in some sort of effort to save each other.

I have come to a position of strength where even though I don't think everything about me is perfect and wonderful, I *do* know that I am worth something. In fact, I have a whole lot of value. I make sure other people understand that value, and I am finally starting to treat myself in every way as though I completely and fully understand that value.

It has been amazing to me to discover over the past couple of weeks just how far I've come and just how strong and powerful I really am. I'll never be perfect. I'll always have some insecurities, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses, but even Superman had kryptonite. I have this intense sense of pride about the work I have put into myself and a sense of gratitude for the time and work others have put into me.

Whether they know it or not, whether it was positive then or not, all the people that have been a part of my life have helped shape it. Thank you - even if I hated you for what you did to me (even if I still do a little) - thank you. I am a powerful and beautiful woman and I treat myself as if I know that I am a force to be reckoned with because I *am*, and I owe some part of that process and that knowledge to all of you.