I gave blood today which gave me the knowledge that my blood pressure is perfect and my resting pulse was around 70, which is good for me (it used to be a lot higher). It was nice to get that information, but even nicer to be donating blood as I feel that is such an important thing to do.
I was contacted today for my first volunteer shift. As part of the queer culture class I’m taking, we have mandatory community service hours and I chose to do mine in a shelter for homeless LGBT youth. I went through the background check and orientation and have my first shift scheduled for next Monday. I am really looking forward to working with these young people and reconnecting with the queer community.
The shelter is run through MCC – Metropolitan Community Church – which I used to attend in Maryland. I’ve been to the one here several times, but not consistently. I went back for the first time in a long while yesterday, and as usual , the message spoken when I finally walk back through those doors was one I was intended to hear. Though it was much longer, it can summed up thusly: When I say “I’ll try” to do something I am giving myself permission to find reasons not to. I am failing to commit myself fully to a path and by not committing myself, it’s ok if I don’t end up doing it. I am cheating myself, cheating those around me, and making it acceptable to do only what is easy and never to challenge myself to step outside of my comfort zone.
F. used to remind himself and me of the saying “good enough is the enemy of best”. It’s so true. If I settle for doing just good enough, I will never strive toward my best. One of the best examples given was with losing weight. If you feel unhappy about it or feel it is hindering you – shut up and DO something about it. Don’t say “you’ll try”, because that usually ends up translating to “well, I tried, but I got too busy to exercise, I didn’t have the time to cook, I got sick and then fell off the wagon, my office had a pizza party, etc”. There are so many excuses for things that we allow ourselves to come up with.
Personally, if I commit to something, I WILL do it. Even if it’s something that I know is going to be hard for me, if I’ve said I will do, I will find a way to make it happen. So, what I’ve decided as of now is that I’m not going to lie to myself. I’m not going to say “I’ll try” to do something when I know I’m only saying that so I don’t really have to. I won’t feel guilty for putting something off that I was only going to “try” to do. If I don’t get to it, I don’t get to it, right? No more! If there’s something I really want in my life, I will commit myself to it – I will do it. Case in point – I’ve committed myself to finishing 12 credits this semester and I committed myself last year to graduating with a minimum 3.85 GPA, so I will do both of these things no matter how tiring they are.
In the short term, I am committing this week to finish the course work for my computer science class, to have all assignments done on time for my other classes, and to writing more about this minor epiphany I’ve had. That is a tall order of work given the amount of time I have and the amount of work. I am going to go one step further though and also commit myself to finishing the house cleaning/organizing I’ve been putting off. I was always going to “try to”, but then I’d be tired from work or homework and just decide that it would be better to watch TV.
Lazy is not becoming. Enough is enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment